Former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy talked about loneliness in the Harvard Business Review. “We live in the most technologically connected age in the history of civilization, yet rates of loneliness have doubled since the 1980s.” Loneliness is an epidemic because it affects a great number of people in our country but also because one person’s loneliness can have an impact on another person. Read More Here.
Research was published in 2010 from a Professor at Brigham Young University showed that people who had weaker social ties had a 50% increased likelihood of dying early than those with stronger ones. Being disconnected, Professor Holt-Lunstad showed, posed danger comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and was more predictive of early death than the effects of air pollution or physical inactivity!!
What can we do about this?
It starts as a grassroots movement. Each of us need to focus on authentic connections with those in our immediate vicinity, caring directly for the people close to us which then has a spider web effect and spreads out to others.
Everyone feels loneliness not just moving to a new city or being removed from your comfort zone but in the most comfortable scenarios, surrounded by people who love you, we all can succumb to loneliness and go through periods of unrest.
Social media enhances the feeling of loneliness because many hide behind screens, letting go of authentic connections in place of emojis. My vision is specific to bring back the value of the written word and snail mail to strengthen connections and allow each person on the receiving end to remember that they matter and the person on the other side is there for them. But what can you do in this moment to create a connection whether that is with a friend or even a barista you see often!
Do something about this now.
- Text a friend. “Tell me something good about your day.”
- Hold the door open for a stranger, make eye contact, tell them “Have a great day.” No need to be creepy about it, just keep it simple. Take a cart back to the stall for a busy mom in the car near you.
- If you’re like me, you have about 20 tabs open on your computer or phone. Send someone an article you have saved or have found interesting saying, “I found this interesting, you may also!” Whether or not they read it isn’t a big deal, but they know you’ve thought of them.
- Schedule a coffee date / happy hour / FaceTime date. This doesn’t have to be extravagant, get together with someone you enjoy spending time with or wish to spend more time with and put something on the calendar. I have some friendship dates planned 2 weeks in advance because of busy schedules – but it’s so worth it!
- Write a note and stick it in the mail! It only takes 5 minutes but the person on the receiving end will feel the joy for hours or even days. Send a note to your mom, an aunt, sister, friend. It doesn’t matter who is on the other end but the connection you’re forging by a simple note will have a lasting effect.
